Friday, 12 April 2013

adoption update...


We're back...

It was an amazing two weeks and I'll do an update on it later in the week, currently writing it up in word and it's six pages mainly of notes... 

However since we've been back we've had another joint interview and hubby has had his final single interview today.

So the joint interview it went well enough, we discussed our relationship and how we moved quite quickly, this seemed to worry our SW but neither of us could really see why, it's not like we've gone off with other since or that we've had fights, so it was an odd reaction on her part. She told us about the red flags that she has, and there are quite a few, granted most of them are in relation to my past and how I deal with it now.

I am a bit annoyed that something that happened when I was 12/13 is now going to possibly stop us being parents, she didn't actually say this but it was implied that it could be a reason that they stop our assessment.. She then went on to say that she wanted us to see the psychologist to ensure that we have the sufficient support in place... Needless to say there were some really mixed messages flying about all over the place... I'm still not sure what is actually happening...

Hubby had another individual interview and so did I. Hubby's lasted all of an hour.. mine two hours and she still hasn't covered everything so, by the end of it I will have had 6 hours of individual interviews... They are slowly getting towards the end of my chronology, it just seems every time that she has more and more questions and they are just making it longer and longer. She has now said that she won't be taking us to panel as we won't be ready... so we will have to just wait and see whats going on... especially as we haven't got any appointments sorted out for next week... She needed to ask her supervisor where to go with us from here on... it's a bit annoying... but oh well...    
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9 comments:

  1. Lindsay13 April 2013 at 05:07

    It sounds like you are being put through quite the wringer! The process is so different from place to place it seems very stranger sometimes but interesting to read about the differences. Good luck, I hope they start to give you more answers soon.

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  2. the boy's behaviour13 April 2013 at 08:05

    I'm sorry you're having such a tough homestudy and have had panel put off. It is frustrating at times, and it must be really difficult not having a clearer idea of how and when you're going to proceed. Hope you hear from the social worker soon about your next session.

    Thanks for linking this up to the Weekly Adoption Shout Out x

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  3. Anonymous13 April 2013 at 20:48

    I remember the uncertainty of not knowing how your personal life will be perceived by a SW, Mr H and I both had things we were unsure about revealing, but we did. They may have required more discussion but in the long run it probably did help us be better prepared. I hope things move forward again soon.

    Thanks for linking up with the Weekly Adoption Shout Out

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  4. NewPyjamaMummy15 April 2013 at 16:03

    Don't worry if things get seemingly held up by more and more questions - it will help you to know yourselves better and in turn when it comes to it the best child for you too - it may be frustrating but the process does take time and you cant go to panel until everything is ready.

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  5. LifewithKatie19 April 2013 at 09:35

    It sounds like you're really feeling it all at the moment. I was very worried that my past would prevent us from becoming adopters but they just need to know how you cope with things and where you are in those feelings now. Our adoption got held up this time around for several months due to missing paperwork. It is frustrating and it feels like it's never going to happen for you. A close friend of mine adopted through Poole and found them pretty good, for the most part. She now has two children with them through two separate adoptions. I don't live that far from you so if you ever want to meet up for a coffee and a chat I'd be very willing. My email addy is available on my blog and we could sort something out. Sometimes just having other people around who understand can be really helpful xxx

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    1. HexagonalPatchwork19 April 2013 at 10:25

      They do seem to be keeping us in the loop which is good, our SW had someone going to panel this week so she took a step back from us to support them, so that was fine with us because she told us... We have been told that we're not having psychological input as she feels that we are discussing the issues fully enough. We will however end up with another SW at some point as ours is only a student so that's a bit of a bugger...

      I think I've emailed you before but I shall dig it out and give you an email =)

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  6. LifewithKatie19 April 2013 at 09:39

    PS it's just occurred to me that the concern about how quickly you and hubby got together etc might be because they are worried you would be very spontaneous with a match (not my opinion but just trying to think like a SW)

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    1. HexagonalPatchwork19 April 2013 at 10:27

      I think she's a little bit jealous as well (being a single woman)... But I guess that could be it, she did question us a lot on it and how we knew it was right for us... and apparently just knowing isn't a good enough reason

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    2. LifewithKatie3 May 2013 at 13:53

      They do make me laugh. Some of the things they worry about - without good cause. I've seen this happen with other people as well. I guess they have to find something to put in their report LOL x

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