Hello
We have homework for our adoption course, we have been doing some of it today, we sat and started looking at it...
It is titled: What does adoption mean to you?
The first question is all about what will we have to give up when we adopt. Which we managed to answer surprisingly easily and nothing on the list was too shocking and going to cause us too much of an issue (it might even be nice to not have a hubby who is off to dofe every weekend in the summer)
Second question: what pressures/stresses do you have in your relationship? Scarily we are struggling to answer this one, we don't seem to have any issues in our relationship... so yes empty question at the moment...
Third: What behaviors will you find challenging once you've adopted?
Well we put about how we will find all behaviors challenging to start with but we will find ways to deal with them and also to limit them happening. The other thing that we have put down is about false allegations, this comes from both of us being professionals and working within jobs that if the child made these allegations it would mean that until they had been investigated and deemed false.. it's a big risk that we have to take...
That's as far as we've got, but I'll update the rest later on today...
Sunday, 17 March 2013
Thursday, 14 March 2013
adoption training day 1 & 2
Hello...
So We have had the first two days of our adoption training course. We'd both read numerous blogs and articles about them and others views on it.. They all seemed to say that it was very tiring and emotionally draining...
Well Day One:
We had introductions of the SWs there and also the adopters, however they didn't actually get us to and all the others there to, so we spent the morning sitting there not really knowing who was there or what stages they were at in the process... So we did a bit of a quiz on random adoption facts and then had some information on where the children come from, which envolved looking at a few photos of houses that were typical of neglect and such... We then had a break and managed to actually have a chat to some of the other couples who were there and that was good. After this break I can't remember what it we actually spoke about (it was that interesting obviously). The afternoon we had a visit from someone who spoke very briefly about fetal alcohol syndrome and an even smaller bit about mental health problems (and some of her facts were so wrong I felt like screaming at her) after this everyone in the group was a bit like 'oh I'm so tired, early night for us before tomorrow' however Hubby and I looked at each other and were like 'what??'. In the car on the way home we were saying that it felt like we hadn't done anything all day and it was less stressful than a day at work... Anyway we went home and then played D&D and killed off some bad guys...
Day Two:
We actually were one of the first to get there, which kinda shocked us given that we were coming from the furthest point away.. granted not as far as the couple from the next city along (who have also been along the same sort of path as we have) but anyway we went in and moved seats (much to everyone shock) and sat down ready for the next day. We started off with a session on attachment which was very interesting and informative, it actually answered some questions and raised others which we asked so it was good. We then spoke a bit about eh adoption process, which is when we learnt where each couple is on the pathway and well there are people who are literally right at the beginning and have only just done the application, and then there are a few couples who are off to panel at the end of april beginning of may... We then had one of the independent reviewing officers come in and give us a brief run down on their job and how we will see them during the process at reviews and things.. We then had an afternoon of people who had already adopted telling us their stories but also answering our questions which were very useful and also very informative, it helped put my mind at ease which was good, so I'm glad that they were there.. it was a bit more draining than the first day but we still managed to get home and do the mountain of things we needed to do, including finishing our financial statement for the SW... We also went out for a meal which was nice...
We've got two more days next week and then we are off on honeymoon so next week will be hectic.. got work the next three nights as well so shall probably not update again until sunday =(
So We have had the first two days of our adoption training course. We'd both read numerous blogs and articles about them and others views on it.. They all seemed to say that it was very tiring and emotionally draining...
Well Day One:
We had introductions of the SWs there and also the adopters, however they didn't actually get us to and all the others there to, so we spent the morning sitting there not really knowing who was there or what stages they were at in the process... So we did a bit of a quiz on random adoption facts and then had some information on where the children come from, which envolved looking at a few photos of houses that were typical of neglect and such... We then had a break and managed to actually have a chat to some of the other couples who were there and that was good. After this break I can't remember what it we actually spoke about (it was that interesting obviously). The afternoon we had a visit from someone who spoke very briefly about fetal alcohol syndrome and an even smaller bit about mental health problems (and some of her facts were so wrong I felt like screaming at her) after this everyone in the group was a bit like 'oh I'm so tired, early night for us before tomorrow' however Hubby and I looked at each other and were like 'what??'. In the car on the way home we were saying that it felt like we hadn't done anything all day and it was less stressful than a day at work... Anyway we went home and then played D&D and killed off some bad guys...
Day Two:
We actually were one of the first to get there, which kinda shocked us given that we were coming from the furthest point away.. granted not as far as the couple from the next city along (who have also been along the same sort of path as we have) but anyway we went in and moved seats (much to everyone shock) and sat down ready for the next day. We started off with a session on attachment which was very interesting and informative, it actually answered some questions and raised others which we asked so it was good. We then spoke a bit about eh adoption process, which is when we learnt where each couple is on the pathway and well there are people who are literally right at the beginning and have only just done the application, and then there are a few couples who are off to panel at the end of april beginning of may... We then had one of the independent reviewing officers come in and give us a brief run down on their job and how we will see them during the process at reviews and things.. We then had an afternoon of people who had already adopted telling us their stories but also answering our questions which were very useful and also very informative, it helped put my mind at ease which was good, so I'm glad that they were there.. it was a bit more draining than the first day but we still managed to get home and do the mountain of things we needed to do, including finishing our financial statement for the SW... We also went out for a meal which was nice...
We've got two more days next week and then we are off on honeymoon so next week will be hectic.. got work the next three nights as well so shall probably not update again until sunday =(
Sunday, 10 March 2013
just thoughts
This week we are taking the first big steps towards our adoption... It is a slightly scary thing knowing that it is happening and we're both looking forward to it.
Granted I think we're both a bit shocked by the speed at which this is happening, but someone has said that it makes sense to run at the moment and then it'll give you chance to walk slower later and also reflect back on these moments, which I'm sure we will.
I've done some reflecting on the interview I had last week, and there are somethings that I said that yes I can see why they could have worried the SW but to be honest I only told them what was honest and not some thing that I made up or even something that was missing large chunks of my actual life... Needless to say I hope it actually is the positive that she made it out to be and it's not going to come back and shot us in the foot at a later date...
Anyway I should start reading some more about attachment disorder if only so I feel like I know what is being talking about on tuesday... =D
Granted I think we're both a bit shocked by the speed at which this is happening, but someone has said that it makes sense to run at the moment and then it'll give you chance to walk slower later and also reflect back on these moments, which I'm sure we will.
I've done some reflecting on the interview I had last week, and there are somethings that I said that yes I can see why they could have worried the SW but to be honest I only told them what was honest and not some thing that I made up or even something that was missing large chunks of my actual life... Needless to say I hope it actually is the positive that she made it out to be and it's not going to come back and shot us in the foot at a later date...
Anyway I should start reading some more about attachment disorder if only so I feel like I know what is being talking about on tuesday... =D
Saturday, 9 March 2013
the week...
I feel like I have been lacking a bit this week, I haven't read hardly any of my normal blogs and I haven't even had chance to sit and think.. But it's been a good week =)
I worked monday and so was trying to sleep for most of it to ensure that I could stay awake for the night shift, which thankfully I did (it was one of those nights that just drags cause everything was done so stoopidly early that by midnight I had nothing to do other than to subcome to the evilness that is late night tv)
I got in from my night shift surprisingly early for once on tuesday and set about sorting my day out. I booked myself in for an eye test (something that I'd needed for a while) and then went to sleep for a few hours so I'd at least be able to see the letters when asked.. So up and into town, I went, brought a gift for my mum for mothers day, and then went and had the test, and yes I did need new glasses but I knew that anyway. This all stems from the fact that the prescription for my contacts was stronger than my glasses and so I was finding when I was wearing my glasses that I was getting evil headaches.. and thus once I get my new ones I won't get these evil headaches =) but anyway my glasses I was kinda expecting them to be overly expensive say something around £300+ which is there normal cost however due to the amazingness of actually having contact lenses and going to the same place... my glasses were half price, my eye test was free and the lenses were also half price, so I was well and truly onto a winner so I managed to get a pair of glasses and a pair of sunglasses for under £250 which was a win. After this I then went to do my bit at brownies. We had our mothers day thing, so we had our mothers and daughters evening with tea and scones, it was very cool and went off without a hitch =D
Wednesday I spent at the nursery, which was great, getting to be with little ones and do activities. We did lots of reading and also lots and lots of messy play, which has to be the best bit =)... I also got to do my first lot of nappy changes, which was good, I feel a lot more confident about this and feel like I could handle this if I have to with our own child =) Once home, which wasn't until a lot later I started to feel horrendous, I don't know why but it was bad, I was supposed to be going to see the Blues Brothers at the local theater but couldn't so hubby and FIL went instead and I headed to bed ridiculously early (like 8pm) and slept.
Thursday arrived.. and well.. it was the day of my first interview with our social worker, I was looking forward to it because in a way I now feel like we are doing this and it is real (odd I know) so off I went to the town within which our SW comes from and had this meeting. It was probably one of the most draining experiences I have ever had. We started off talking about my early childhood and what I could remember (which wasn't a whole lot) but I pick out a few bits that I could, such as my brothers and I riding our bikes down the hill in the garden and trying to avoid riding into the house... We then talked about the place that I grew up and how it was very isolated compared to where I live now and how that will be different for a child that we have to what it was for me, which is completely understandable. We then went on to discuss secondary school and some of the bullying that happened there and how I coped with that and what I'd do now days and things. We then went on to talk about parts of my childhood that I don't want to put on here but things that happened and how they have shaped my life and how that has made me who I am and how I'd recognise the same sort of things in a child... We then went on to talk about self harm and how I found ways to hide it all from a lot of people and also how I over came it and how I now know my own triggers and symptoms and the ways that I have to be able to deal with these and how I cope as such... We ended on talking about my relationship with my grandparents and how they were and how they are now... it was very draining but unfortunately as much as I wanted to go home and curl up and sleep after this I couldn't I was off to go and do my college course, we were doing mocks ready for the exam (which I'm not sitting as I'll be away) but either way we were doing them and it was very good to actually be able to see how much of the stuff I have taken on board and I remember which when she emailed me with the results (95 & 98%) I was glad and am now having to decided if I'm going to go on and do the next course or not... =o
Friday I went off to go and see my brothers and my mum which was good because I hadn't seen any of them since the actual wedding, so it was good to actually to have a chat with them. Bro 1 and me made brownies and cookies and Bro 2 was showing and telling my all about his bio diesel plant thing that he has (it was a bit too scientific for me) but it was a good day and I got to see the cat as well... I then went off to go and see my mum and her fiance which was good, talk to them about what the interview on thursday was like and how the SW will be having a chat with them at some point as well... so it was good...
and today well I got up and had some food and started this and now I've got to start packing for our holiday...
I worked monday and so was trying to sleep for most of it to ensure that I could stay awake for the night shift, which thankfully I did (it was one of those nights that just drags cause everything was done so stoopidly early that by midnight I had nothing to do other than to subcome to the evilness that is late night tv)
I got in from my night shift surprisingly early for once on tuesday and set about sorting my day out. I booked myself in for an eye test (something that I'd needed for a while) and then went to sleep for a few hours so I'd at least be able to see the letters when asked.. So up and into town, I went, brought a gift for my mum for mothers day, and then went and had the test, and yes I did need new glasses but I knew that anyway. This all stems from the fact that the prescription for my contacts was stronger than my glasses and so I was finding when I was wearing my glasses that I was getting evil headaches.. and thus once I get my new ones I won't get these evil headaches =) but anyway my glasses I was kinda expecting them to be overly expensive say something around £300+ which is there normal cost however due to the amazingness of actually having contact lenses and going to the same place... my glasses were half price, my eye test was free and the lenses were also half price, so I was well and truly onto a winner so I managed to get a pair of glasses and a pair of sunglasses for under £250 which was a win. After this I then went to do my bit at brownies. We had our mothers day thing, so we had our mothers and daughters evening with tea and scones, it was very cool and went off without a hitch =D
Wednesday I spent at the nursery, which was great, getting to be with little ones and do activities. We did lots of reading and also lots and lots of messy play, which has to be the best bit =)... I also got to do my first lot of nappy changes, which was good, I feel a lot more confident about this and feel like I could handle this if I have to with our own child =) Once home, which wasn't until a lot later I started to feel horrendous, I don't know why but it was bad, I was supposed to be going to see the Blues Brothers at the local theater but couldn't so hubby and FIL went instead and I headed to bed ridiculously early (like 8pm) and slept.
Thursday arrived.. and well.. it was the day of my first interview with our social worker, I was looking forward to it because in a way I now feel like we are doing this and it is real (odd I know) so off I went to the town within which our SW comes from and had this meeting. It was probably one of the most draining experiences I have ever had. We started off talking about my early childhood and what I could remember (which wasn't a whole lot) but I pick out a few bits that I could, such as my brothers and I riding our bikes down the hill in the garden and trying to avoid riding into the house... We then talked about the place that I grew up and how it was very isolated compared to where I live now and how that will be different for a child that we have to what it was for me, which is completely understandable. We then went on to discuss secondary school and some of the bullying that happened there and how I coped with that and what I'd do now days and things. We then went on to talk about parts of my childhood that I don't want to put on here but things that happened and how they have shaped my life and how that has made me who I am and how I'd recognise the same sort of things in a child... We then went on to talk about self harm and how I found ways to hide it all from a lot of people and also how I over came it and how I now know my own triggers and symptoms and the ways that I have to be able to deal with these and how I cope as such... We ended on talking about my relationship with my grandparents and how they were and how they are now... it was very draining but unfortunately as much as I wanted to go home and curl up and sleep after this I couldn't I was off to go and do my college course, we were doing mocks ready for the exam (which I'm not sitting as I'll be away) but either way we were doing them and it was very good to actually be able to see how much of the stuff I have taken on board and I remember which when she emailed me with the results (95 & 98%) I was glad and am now having to decided if I'm going to go on and do the next course or not... =o
Friday I went off to go and see my brothers and my mum which was good because I hadn't seen any of them since the actual wedding, so it was good to actually to have a chat with them. Bro 1 and me made brownies and cookies and Bro 2 was showing and telling my all about his bio diesel plant thing that he has (it was a bit too scientific for me) but it was a good day and I got to see the cat as well... I then went off to go and see my mum and her fiance which was good, talk to them about what the interview on thursday was like and how the SW will be having a chat with them at some point as well... so it was good...
and today well I got up and had some food and started this and now I've got to start packing for our holiday...
Sunday, 3 March 2013
the weekly update...
I seem to only be doing weekly updates at the moment, possibly due to the large amount of forms that we are having to fill in at the moment but also because there are also a lot things that are going on with life as well...
Work wise: I'm working nights at the moment, so a lot of the time I'm actually either asleep during the day but also awake at odd times of night so having chance to even collect my thoughts enough to do an update is impossible...
It hasn't helped that hubby has been sick this week, so when I have been at home I've also had to look after him, and haven't got to the nursery because I didn't want to take any germs with me from him...
The forms we've had to fill in have been interesting:
Work wise: I'm working nights at the moment, so a lot of the time I'm actually either asleep during the day but also awake at odd times of night so having chance to even collect my thoughts enough to do an update is impossible...
It hasn't helped that hubby has been sick this week, so when I have been at home I've also had to look after him, and haven't got to the nursery because I didn't want to take any germs with me from him...
The forms we've had to fill in have been interesting:
- A Chronology so everything from birth to now, including addresses, schools and exam grades, significant events
- A Family Tree, going back to grandparents, however it has sparked our interests and we have both looked further back which has been interesting
- An Eco map which is literally a list of all the people who are going to support you and whether they will child sit and other such fun things... (Not)
- and finally a Finance report, with annual income and then everything that you spend money on.. (we're still doing this one)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)