getting it out of my head

Do you ever have days where you wish the world would just let you be and not need you to actually have anything to do with it at all... 

The past couple of days my emotions have been from amazed to down in the dumps. I don't know quite where I feel like this or why... 

I had an interview yesterday at an amazing care home, I felt amazed and enthused and frankly like this is where I wanted to work and would fit in and just feel like part of a team.. last night we went to another adoption information evening which also was very informative and has actually made us more confident towards going with them and taking the steps forward, so hopefully we'll hear from them soon and it'll be one more step in the right direction.
Then today well I had another interview at a nursing home, and you know when you've been somewhere and it was amazing and then you step into the dreariness of old and horribleness, well that was pretty much what it seemed like today.

I then got home and it was like the world had collapsed. There were piles of washing up, the whole house needs cleaning and I just don't know where to start. I've done the washing up (thus the there were) but now I just can't get the motivation to do anything else. I haven't got the motivation to take any steps to change this feeling that I've got. 

I feel like a failure, I feel guilty that my hubby ended up with me, especially as I am so infertile and he wants a family, he wants to be the dad at the birth who is crying when they get to hold their child for the first time, and I feel horrible for being the person who is stopping him from ever having that. I hate myself for that. 

Don't get me wrong I'm not having any sort of suicidal doubts, or any self harm doubts, I'm just feeling low in myself, if only I could change that one thing about myself.. oh well wishful thinking and ramblings of a crazy person.